Don’t want to ring-a-ding-ding my own bell or anything, but I killed it.

This vlog is all about how to cook Thanksgiving dinner, in 8 minutes! Well, the video is 8 minutes… dinner will take you all day to cook lol. But that is the point! Thanksgiving is a journey. You will laugh, you will cry, you will also probably get drunk. It’s a beautiful thing. 🍷

While vlogging my Thanksgiving dinner this weekend, I may or may not have endured some battle scars in the form of burns, cuts, and scrapes. This as due to simultaneously trying to film + cook…


The menu includes: The World’s Best Citrus Herb Turkey, Smashed Potatoes, Roasted Root Veggies, Not-Your-Basic-Gravy, and Cranberry Sauce.

I purposely didn’t make stuffing or dessert because I have about 10 other dinners to go to this week, and those are hella dangerous items. I will eat it all. ALL.

So, this is a “healthy Thanksgiving.”

The “healthy” is in quotations, as you will see how much butter and cream goes in to this whole situation shortly 😂

Hope you enjoy! Please subscribe and like my youtube channel if you do 💞


World Best Citrus Herb Turkey

If you can, try and buy organic and free-range turkeys. I do my best to support small farms whenever I eat meat, because the mass meat market is brutal and ethically raised animals is where it’s at. J

Kkkk doing this.

Please Google how long and at what tempt to cook your bird, and defrosting instructions if necessary. It is sooooo different per size of bird, and depending on what your oven is like. I can’t have that kind of responsibility weighing on my shoulders. LOL. So I am basically just telling you how to season + general cooking strategy that worked out VERY well for me.

I’m telling you, this is straight up the best turkey recipe ever. My friend made this for me a few years ago, and I added a few twists to it, and below is the magic that that is.




The turkey

– Remove the giblets and whatever else is inside (sometimes they put plastic stuff there)

– Cook those as you may, I choose to not cook them cuz I can’t deal

To stuff the turkey

(You may need to adjust based on how large your bird is. Ours was small, 8 lbs)

– 1 lemon
– 1 lime
– 1 orange
– 8-10 garlic cloves
– White onion, quartered
– Rosemary + thyme + marjoram other spice mix
– Salt + pepper

For the pan:

– Chicken stock in the pan, just an inch or so
– A few glugs of white cooking wine
– Extra rosemary, thyme, and marjoram
+ whatever extra citrus slices/onion/garlic couldn’t fit inside your turkey

On top of the turkey

– 1 stick butter, melted
– ½ lemon zest
– Whole lemon juice
– Pepper

Wash and slice up everything that goes inside the turkey. Place the fruits and onion on the bottom of the cavity and everything else at the top. Don’t be shy, fill that beauty until it is STUFFED!! Anything you can’t fit in, put in the bottom of the pan. Add your chicken stock + wine to the base of the pan.

In a medium bowl, melt your stick of butter and add the lemon zest, juice, and pepper. Mix together and pour lovingly over your turkey baby. Add extra pepper on the turkey after and if the butter was unsalted, add a bit more salt too.

Now it’s ready to go in the oven.

No matter the size of the turkey, broil at 400 degrees for the first 30 mins.

Remove from oven, put a tent on the turkey. It’s really important that the tent is sealed, and no moisture can leak out. We want the turkey to bake in all those citrus juices.

Cook at 325 for however many hours you need for your turkey to be done.

For the last 10 mins, broil at 500 to make sure the top is nice and browned. Let sit for 5 – 10 mins before eating.

Oh my godddddddd yesssssss.

Roast Root Veggies


– Beets
– Carrot
– Onion
– Garlic cloves
– Sweet Potato
– Yam
– Lemon, sliced
– Fresh Italian parsley, roughly chopped
– Extra virgin olive oil
– Salt + pepper
– Garlic powder

For full instructions, visit my original post on this recipe:

**Please note: if you put the veggies on the lower shelf below the turkey, they will take WAY LONGER than 60 mins to cook. If the turkey can be side by side with the veggies, do that.

Smashed Potatoes

Garlic Oil (this is actual crack)

– 10 – 15 cloves of garlic
– 1 cup extra virgin olive oil

Start the garlic oil first. In a small saucepan on medium-low heat, heat up the oil and garlic til it fizzles. Be careful the garlic doesn’t start to brown or get hard.. that means it is done too soon. Let it cook for about 40 mins til totally soft.

Set aside, and just let it chill in it’s pan.

Smashed Potatoes

I can’t say enough good things about this. This recipe was inspired by Chrissy Teigen! AKA it’s amaze-balls.

– 2.5 lbs of baby red potatoes
– 1 stick of butter (4 oz)
– ½ cup heavy cream
– ½ tsp freshly ground black pepper
– 2 tablespoons chopped chives + more for serving

Put your potatoes and water in a large pot, bring to a boil and simmer until soft (easily stab-able with a fork) about 25 mins.

In a separate pan, combine your heavy cream, melted butter, and pepper

Once the potatoes are cooked, mash them enough so you have a chunky and not totally smooth texture. Don’t mash them to smithereens. Not good. We want some skin to stay in tact.

Add the heavy cream and butter mixtures to the smashed potatoes, and fold it in. Also add about 1/2 cup of the oil your garlic was cooking in and ALL the garlic cloves. Add the chopped chives. Try not to die it’s so good.

Cranberry Sauce




(All modesty is now gone. Sorry not sorry ;). )

– 3/4 cup white sugar
– 1 cup water
– 4 cups fresh cranberries
– 2 teaspoons orange zest
– 1 teaspoon nutmeg
– 3 tbsp orange juice

Combine water and sugar in a pot. Dissolve sugar. Add the cranberries in, heat at medium-low and simmer til cranberries start to pop. Add orange juice, orange zest, and nutmeg. Simmer on medium low heat and let reduce.

Remove from heat… done!

Not-Your-Basic Gravy

This is a gravy like no other. It will be a lighter citrusy gravey. It’s different, and it’s fabulous. U will luv.

– 1/4 cup butter
– 1/4 cup flour
– 4 cups turkey drippings (aka the chicken broth + wine + drippings in your pan)
– Salt and freshly ground black pepper
– 2 tbsp heavy cream

Melt butter in a pot. Slowly whisk in flour. Add the turkey drippings, reduce to a simmer for 10 – 15 mins.


Alright you animals, ENJOY!!!




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